In a Funk

Lately, I have kind of been in a funk. I'm not really sure why. I am finally feeling better physically which is awesome. I think that this whole time, I assumed that once I felt better, life would look more normal. I would be able to do everything that I needed to do. I would be able to keep the house the way I want to, do activities with my kids, cook 3 square meals a day, start finally checking things off my huge TO DO list. But so far, none of that has fallen into place for me. Maybe the physical pain gave me something to focus on. And now that that is gone, the rest is finally catching up to me. It is a strange thing. I don't feel like I even consciously think about the Bella situation much. But the sadness lingers.

My due date is slowly approaching. In many ways, it was such a blessing that she was born 9 weeks early. But at the same time, that left 9 whole weeks where I should still have been pregnant. I have 4 friends who are due right around Bella's due date. Sometimes I see them and their big old bellies and it is just hard. I am so happy for them, of course. It's just hard.

I think my goal of getting "back to normal" has been challenging also for a couple of reasons. 1) I don't really remember what normal is. It feels like it has been SO long. I can't really remember what that looks like.  and 2) I'm not sure I really want things to be like they were. I think that our time with Bella has changed us in many ways. I don't want to forget that. She opened our eyes to a world that was pretty much foreign to us. A world where people are sad and hurting. We had been "fortunate" enough to avoid that world up to this point, but we are better for knowing it. My prayer is that we will take the things we have learned this year and use it to help others who are living in that world. To reach out and minister to others.

My goal this week is to at least get back in the groove. To try to remember how to cook (after 5 weeks of wonderful meals from friends). To plan some fun activities with my family (pumpkin patch here we come!) . Check a few things off my TO DO list, and to start digging myself out of this funk!


I do have to share a few pics that I took last week. I have a secret ambition to become a decent photographer. I would love to take photos of my friends for a very reasonable price. I bought a good camera and haven't had much time to learn how to use it. Here are a couple shots that I was pumped about though.

Of course, with faces like that, you can't go wrong. :)

I hope you all have a blessed day.

~Mica