False Alarm

We had a little scare today, but all is well. Starting yesterday and continuing all through today, I have been having quite a few contractions. There were definitely not consistent. I had a hard time counting them or timing them, but mainly because I was a little busy taking care of babies.  I knew that I was definitely having 6 or more an hour. And they were strong enough to wake me up at 4am (and keep me up for a couple of hours). I had finally decided to call my mom to ask for her help with the kids so that I could get some sleep, take it easy, and drink as much water as humanly possible in an effort to get the contractions under control. I decided I should probably call my doctors office too. Mainly, because I wasn't sure what I needed to do in this situation. Obviously, with a normal pregnancy, I know when I probably need to head up there. I actually made 2 or 3 trips up there with Sissy so that they could stop the contractions, because she was in quite the hurry to make an appearance. With Bella, however, I remembered my doctor saying that if I went into premature labor, they would not take measures to stop it, because prolonging the pregnancy did not provide any benefit to the baby.

When I called my doctor's nurse, she said that since I had been having them for so long and they weren't going away that i should go to the hospital and have them monitor my contractions and check to make sure my labor wasn't progressing. I was so glad that my mom was already on her way. She actually walked in the door as I was hanging up with the nurse. Perfect timing because I really needed a hug right about then.

I then began stalling. I had already told the nurse that I was going to wait at least another hour just to make sure that they were still going. She said, "ok, but if you have ANY more, please go in." We sat down and ate lunch but the contractions kept coming. I called my hubby and told him that it looked like he would need to come home from work. I had absolutely NO desire to go to the hospital. My biggest fear was that they would say that I was dilated or something and they wanted to admit me--which would have made today Bella's birthday. I was not ready. I took my time, checking my email, fixing my hair and makeup, and slowly gathering stuff to take just in case we were admitted. When I couldn't stall any longer, we finally headed up there.

Basically, they monitored me for about 2 hours, checked to see if I was dilated (i was not) and decided that since the contractions were sporadic, I was free to go home. If the bed had been a little more comfortable, I maybe could have at least gotten a nap out of the deal (a very expensive nap!). I did however enjoy getting to listen to my sweet baby's heartbeat for 2 whole hours. I even called my mom and had my hubby hold the phone to the monitor so she could hear her granddaughter. I also enjoyed hearing (and feeling) Bella karate kick the monitor belt every so often. No one can ever say she wasn't a fighter!

We dealt with quite a whirlwind of emotions today. We had to face the fact that today could be THE day. We had to explain to the nurses what Bella's situation was. We had to see all the happy girls checking in to deliver their babies. The hardest part for me was just that I was not ready to say goodbye. I am so grateful that i didn't have to today. I think a lot of people would look at our situation and say, 'wouldn't it be easier for her to come early so they could get it over with?'  And today was the first time that any little part of me agreed with that. For just a split second, I let myself think about how nice it would be to be done. And then I just felt guilty for feeling that way. I began searching my soul to answer my own question of "why is it SO important to me that I make it to term, when the outcome is very unlikely to change either way?"  I decided that the answer boiled down to this. If Bella is "fully grown," I will actually be able to see what she looks like. That may sound weird, but when I said it to myself I realized that is why I want to make it all the way. I feel like if she is full term, I will be able to look at her face and see myself in her. And see her daddy and her brother and sissy and know that she is a part of us and always will be.

So we continue to wait. Wait and listen for God's answer, whenever that may come. I pray that I will not have 11 weeks of contractions like I did with Sis. I pray that God will continue to prepare my heart so that I will be ready when her birthday does come. And I actually say a prayer of thanks that we had this practice run today. It actually took a little bit of the "unknown" out as we look ahead.  I can't thank all of you enough for all your prayers and emails today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know that your support is going to be invaluable in the weeks ahead.