Contraction Action

I have started to realize that there is a pattern to my posts on this blog. One will be all happy and upbeat--usually something about my kiddos because they make me happy. Then the next one will be all dark and gloomy again. So, if you look at the previous post, you can guess where this one is headed--straight to gloom-ville. But really, that is how I pretty much feel these days. One day I don't really think about the Bella situation much and everything is rosy. Then one day, it all comes crashing down. I know that some days I make a conscious decision not to think about things. It's not that I don't think about Bella--just not the sad parts. I think I need that mental break every once in a while just to get by. And then some days we are just so busy, that there is not time to think about it. This weekend, however, I have been thinking about it a lot. For the past couple of days I have had a TON of contractions. Up until this weekend, although I had a bunch, they were pretty sporadic and not really "timeable."  Yesterday I had a solid hour and a half of contractions that were 5 min apart and lasted an average of 40 sec. Luckily, after that time, they started getting further apart and then stopped for a while. Currently, as I type this, I have been having contractions for over an hour that are 3 min apart and lasting 50 seconds! I am praying that they will stop. I just pray that if/when I am in REAL labor, it will be very obvious. I know most pregnant women have a deadly fear of their water breaking in public or some other inopportune time. I, on the other hand, would shout for joy if that happened! Then I would KNOW that it is time and I could get mentally ready. It is so exhausting to think, ok, these contractions have lasted an hour now, I should gather some things just in case they don't stop. I start making mental checklists about who I will call to watch the kids. Yesterday, I made sure all my camera batteries were charged. Not to mention the fact that you start thinking, today could be the day that I meet and say goodbye to my daughter. I can't even let myself go too far down that road. And then, they finally stop and you go on about your day only to go through the whole process the next day. Mentally, Emotionally, and Physically EXHAUSTING!

I actually should probably be laying down and resting right now, but I just wanted to give you a quick update. I had my regularly scheduled check-up today. Everything is fine (so to speak). My blood pressure is good and Bella's heartbeat was strong. My belly growth is still measuring right on track. So we continue to pray and wait. And count contractions. BTW, whoever invented the contraction timer apps that they have out these days should be given a cookie. The one I have on my phone is awesome. I just push a button when they start and stop and it calculates everything for me! So handy.

Ok, off to naptime before the kids wake up. Hope you all have a blessed day. And please pray that these darned contractions will take a hike!!!