The Great WWW

Throughout our journey since we received Bella's diagnosis, not a day has passed that I haven't been on the laptop researching. I mean, seriously, what did we do before the internet?? I know there is a lot of negative content out there, but for information purposes, it is invaluable. I have researched everything from her condition (Amniotic Band Syndrome), to others who have experienced similar situations, to support resources that might be valuable to me. In all my searching, however, I had not come across a good website  for people who are CURRENTLY pregnant with a fatal diagnosis. There are many out there to help after the fact, but what do I do in the mean time?  Today I felt so blessed to come across a couple of different websites with many resources on what to do WHILE carrying to term (CTT). The one I found most helpful was www.myveryownangel.org. It gave practical ideas about things to keep in mind while I am CTT as well as things to think about for the birth of our baby. I think Bella's actual Birthday, is something that has weighed heavy on my heart for many reasons, obviously, but mainly because I don't want to overlook anything. If my time with her is limited to a few short hours, what do I need to be prepared for to make the most of her life? I felt like this website was helpful in thinking through some of those things. It (along with www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org) also offered some ideas to help support someone you know of that is going through a situation like mine.

I think that my husband and I have reached a point where our unanswered questions are acting as a road block, keeping us from really processing this any further. The list of questions in my notebook continues to grow as we wait for next Thursday (the 7th). I have high hopes that the appointment with my OB/GYN will clear up a lot of our concerns, but the more we think about things, we realize that we will probably end up going back to our specialist, and possibly seeking a second opinion. So pray for us in the next week--that God would give us a clear mind to communicate our concerns with our doctor, and that he will have answers for us. I also ask this of those of you who are reading: If you were in my situation, what would some of your questions be? I am afraid I am overlooking something and I just don't want to miss anything. If you think of anything, you can leave a comment (they can be anonomous) or email/Facebook them to me. I thank you in advance for your help.

As far as Miss Bella Faith is concerned, things are going great! I'm not sure whether she is less active than my first 2 babies, or if I am just too busy to pay as much attention. We do have a late night bonding session going on this week. At about 11:30pm or so, she starts doing some major aerobics! I think she is almost getting big enough that my husband will be able to feel her movements! I know that will be a special thing for him to get to share with me. The other day I had been laying on one side for about and hour and when I got up quickly, I could feel her on that side of my belly! I remember this often with my daughter--to where you can almost tell where her little booty was or her back. With Bella, I find myself being a little thrown off by these "normal" things--like I am not allowing myself to expect them. But once the shock of some new sensation wears off, I treasure them!