Birthday Presents for Bella

I think I pretty much have everything ready that I want to have at the hospital to welcome Bella. Obviously I still have to gather all our cameras and things like that, but I have all the gifts for my baby girl ready to go.

I wanted a frame to capture her hand and footprints in. With the scrapbook paper I added, I think this one is sweet and perfect.

All of my babies have had a "Bunnies by the Bay" doll. So, of course, Bella needed one too. If you aren't familiar with these, they are quite possibly the softest things you have ever felt in your entire life. 

And this...about did me in. 

After looking in a few boutique stores for something for Bella to wear on her Birthday, I just couldn't imagine any of the gowns I found being good enough for her. Even the $80 price tags didn't make them special enough. But, then again, how do you really choose the only outfit your baby may wear? I decided the only option was to make one myself. At least that way I know that every stitch was sewn with love. I have been so excited to make this for her--I have been designing it in my head for weeks. I didn't realize, however, how hard it was going to be on me. I fought back tears the entire time I was creating it. When I finally let myself take in the finished piece, I completely lost it. I both dread and look forward to meeting my baby girl and getting to dress her. After letting my self cry for a good long while, I had to put the gown up where I couldn't see it for a while. It is so tiny and beautiful--perfect for Bella Faith. 

So, I am pretty emotionally wiped out right now.  I don't have much else to add today. I think I have been distracting myself with my lists. I have Bella's bag packed. Maternity pictures are lined up for later this month. Our Birth Plan is written and ready to go. I have been busy checking things off my list. Now, I think it is time to do some more processing. I know that her birthday will be hard no matter what, but I keep telling myself that the more I allow myself to feel and process NOW, the more I will be able to enjoy her birthday and celebrate her life. We are going on a much needed vacation next week, and then the following week is the ultrasound appointment with the specialist. It will be a month of highs and lows. On one hand, it seems like the road we are on is such a SLOW, LONG road. On the other hand, I just kind of want to freeze time. I don't want the end to come. I get excited about things that are planned for next week or next month, but then I remember that those things bring us one step closer to November.