Bright and early this morning I had to go see a dermatologist. It was my first time to visit this dermatologist. I had decided to leave my old one due to his extreme lack of bedside manner. I figured another doctor could be just as capable and not leave me feeling like I paid money to go to the Principal's office. So on recommendation from a friend, I visited a new doc. From the moment I stepped into the waiting room, I knew that God had sent me there for a reason. The speakers were playing some of the most awesome praise music. It was almost like having an early morning devotional time with God. I didn't even mind that my appointment was at 7am and I had gotten approximately 4 hours of sleep the night before. I just let the music minister to me while I filled out my paperwork and waited for my doctor. Upon meeting my doctor (who was incredibly sweet), she of course asked about my baby bump. I told her that the doctors were not very hopeful for my pregnancy. She said she was very sorry. She went on to share with me her story of a family member that had carried a baby to term despite a fatal diagnosis. She was able to donate the baby's organs and turn her own personal tragedy into a life-saving miracle for 3 other babies. Again, God blessed me with Hope.
About a month ago, I (desperately) needed a haircut. My previous hairdresser (who I loved) had been on maternity leave, so I began looking for someone to visit in the meantime. I ran across a salon that I passed often, but never even realized it was a salon. While looking at their website, I saw the bio of a stylist who: A.) had a really cute short haircut herself and B.) had included a scripture verse in her bio. I booked an appointment and upon meeting her, realized that again, God must have sent me there for a reason. She was not only one of the sweetest people, but we had an amazing amount of things in common. (for one, I worked with her husband while we were in college. How random is that?) Also, like my dermatologist, she too had a family member who had carried a fatal pregnancy to term. It was such a blessing to me at that time to hear her relay the story to me and just minister to me with her kindness. To top all that off, she did an amazing job on my hair! :)
There have been a handful of days since our diagnosis that I have not felt Bella move during the day. Most days, I feel her fairly consistently, so on her "lazy" days, I begin to get very nervous. It never fails, when I get in bed that evening, I will lay motionless just waiting for her to show me that she is still there. And she makes her presence known! It seems like these are the days that she kicks the strongest for me. She is letting me know, I am still here Momma! In much the same way, I feel the presence of God in these moments saying, Be still and know that I am God. I have not forgotten you. I am working here in this situation. Trust in me. Hope in me.
If I am ever feeling down, I don't have to look far for reassurance of the fact that our cup is overflowing with blessings. These 2 melt me on a daily basis. I mean, look at them! It's hard to be sad for too long.
The other day, after I had sewn Bella's birthday gown, I was just overwhelmed with sadness. Not to where I was a blubbering heap in the corner of the room, I just felt like I could burst into tears at a moment's notice. After a long hot shower, I treated myself to a trip to Berrilicious (the BEST yogurt ever). On the way, I saw this:
It felt like a hug. Like God reached down and wrapped his arms around me and said, I am Glorious. In all things, I am Glorious.
No comments:
Post a Comment