Preparation and Hope

It has struck me odd that in the last few days, I have had nearly the same conversation with 3 different people. The basis of it is this: How do you balance between Hoping and praying for the best and Preparing for the worst.  This is something that I have been working to balance since our diagnosis.

My HOPE for our situation is endless. Mainly because I know the Source of my Hope. My faith allows me to believe with absolute certainty that God could heal Bella 100%. I rest in that Hope. If God chooses to heal Bella...there is not really anything to PREPARE for. I know how to bring home a healthy baby.

But since God reveals His plans in His own time, I can only PREPARE for the unfamiliar, if that makes since. I can think through the scenarios of what could happen, what could be wrong, and pray for his guidance should those situations arise.

There is an amazing amount of comfort in knowing that God is in control of our situation. (and all situations for that matter). It takes "worry" out of the equation. Even on my saddest days, I don't have thoughts of "why me?! Why us!?".  From the beginning, my husband and I have agreed, "why not us?"  We have been blessed beyond measure in our life. We know that God is with us through this trial. We look forward to seeing the good that will come out of it, because we know that the good will come. On my saddest days, it is just that: sadness. Just because it may be God's will, doesn't mean I WANT my baby girl to die. I don't WANT to tell her hello and goodbye in the same breath. I don't WANT to go home from the hospital empty-handed. But I know He is with me.

So although the sadness is ever-present, we feel an amazing amount of peace. We feel at peace with the amount of time God gives us with Bella--however long that will be. We feel at peace knowing that God is in control. We continue to pray. We continue to prepare for the worst while hoping and knowing that God can deliver the best.